The Baldie Review

This is a column written by yours truly. It is a dedication to my very hip but bald (by choice or not) heroes.

Okay since this is my first attempt at writing anything like this, don't laugh. Well I hope you do laugh because it is suppose to be funny. Just don't laugh at my pitiful attempts. So anyway First things first. I know you have noticed all the bald people in Music today. I mean I did. Well it sort of dawned on me at a concert but I have noticed. Most of the popular bands have at least one baldie. Is this a quinkie-dink or are bands drawing straws to see who gets to shave their head? Is it the new fad to go hairless? Are lead singers everywhere going to have to lather up? Gives new meaning to the words "Shave bro.. shave". Here's a look at the singers and maybe an answer why?

Okay Look at Michael Stipe. I mean right after the song "Stand" off came the hair. I mean he had a receding hairline but you know modern technology and the hair club for men and all that. But oh well I think he looks pretty kewl with no locks.

Now Billy Corgan, He is 6 feet then some, now he looks like a gargantuan cupie doll. He had pretty hair. I can certainly say that he looked nice in it. But it was all gone shortly after the release of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I was told it was to pay tribute to Michael Stipe. Well I guess there are worse things one can do to pay tribute. Besides he has to change since the way we know the Smashing Pumpkins are "ov-ua".

Next in line is Nigel from Bush. I have no idea about Nigel. I don't think he had hair, but that's okay I think his band members Gavin and Robin have more than enough to go around.

Okay then there is Ed Kowalczyk, or Edward from LIVE. Like Michael Stipe he had really LONG hair one minute then it was gone the next video. Oh well. I can certainly say the he looks better, and he can do weird things with his face when he sings. I.e. in the video "Freak", those are some weird contortions going on with Eddie's head, but then again Edward thinks he is Michael Stipe. Oh well don't we all.

Now those are all the ones I can think of I am sure there are many other hairless chrome domes out there and more money to them. So what does it all boil down to? Michael Stipe? Maybe. Are we being made to believe that maybe they are like higher entities like Mahatma Ghandi, or KuJo? Realistically this is a bunch of shit. Until next time thanx for reading.

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